This is the 2nd Women’s Day story we are sharing with you, which is based on fictional events of a brave and successful female. This is Zadie Smith, and I am going to share my life success story with you on Women’s Day. On 29th January 1951, I and my husband, Nick Laird, decided to go for dinner at the Great Scotland Yard Hotel.
Little did we know it would be our last dinner together? While we were enjoying our dinner, there was a blast; a dumper truck loaded with explosives got detonated in front of the hotel. Everything went blank. The incident killed at least 40 people, including my husband, Nick Laird.
It was the biggest shock and loss of my life. In the immediate aftermath of his death, I discovered that I had two choices. I could either surrender to what had happened or instead, choose to fight the reality of it all. Initially, I clashed with reality, and life was hard. I felt alone, afraid, hurt, angry, and even guilty. I felt uncontrolled and could not overcome the thought that my husband was supposed to be there with me.
But then deliberately and gradually, I began to surrender to all my emotions, including grief. In these moments of surrender, there were glimmers of hope, love, and life. I decided to adopt a child and move on with my life. Everyone advised me against it, but I remained firm with my decision and adopted a beautiful child.
I must say it was the finest decision of my life. The child filled the void my husband left behind with her love. Yes, childrearing is not easy, and doing it alone is more taxing; there are days (a lot of them!) that are emphatically hard.
You’re the breadwinner, the child-rearer, the chef-on-demand, the family bookkeeper, the keeper of the calendar, and the driver, and on top of it all, you’re expected to literally and symbolically show up for work.
Consequently, how do I deal with the strain and pressure of being a single mother, you may ask? Here are a few things that have helped me reduce the single-parent stress. So how do I deal with the stress and pressure of being a single mother, you may ask. Here are a few things that have helped me reduce the single-parent stress.
1. Self-care comes first. When you feel like taking a break, honor the need; take a coffee break; go shopping; call a good friend.
2. Single childrearing could be amazingly dividing. It is important that you stay related to your social circle. If you don’t have one, build one. Take up a hobby like yoga, swimming, or anything you like doing.
3. Finding an employer that compliments the concept of work-life balance is important. There are employers that allow employees to work part-time from home, provide flexible scheduling, and offer an on-site daycare facility. However, it is important that you build trust and be consistent with your promises and work performance.
4. There’s no shame in asking for help. It takes a community to increase a person to be their absolute best, and you’re doing the best you can. I always ask for help when I think I can’t do it all alone, and thankfully I get it from my good friends.
5. Strike a balance; there are days I prioritize my career by working late, and then there are days when I prioritize my child by taking time off from work. These are just a few aspects of my life, but the real hardships I have seen and endured are very difficult to describe in few words. I would like to give advice to other single working mothers: Everything happens for a reason. Every single experience we go through serves its purpose.
